Blondes, Beef and Booze

What happens when you take someone who doesn't really know how to cook and mix that with sharp instruments, fire and white wine?

I had an idea: would it be possible to cook, sip cocktails and blog at the same time? Essentially, it's My Drunk Kitchen but in blog form–and with a lot less production value and less wit…

I had planned to be in Southern California to attend a video game talk show and was going to stay with my dear friend, Jenny and her husband Rob, for a few days while I was down there. I told Jenny my idea, and she thought it would be fun. Friday afternoon, we decided on a menu, got supplies and proceeded to make dinner... drunk.

Tonight's meal powered by Clos du Bois.

Tonight's menu: Steak with Parmesan Butter, Balsamic Glaze and Arugula, Roasted Tomatoes, and Pie a la Apple.

The commentary that follows is totally unedited. This is going to be either comedy gold or a train wreck. Let's find out:

Jenny and Chloe​

Because it was going to take the longest to prep and cook, we decided to do the Pie a la Apple first. 

Jenny: And so it begins... 2 glasses of a buttery chard poured, a sweaty philipino, a dumb blonde, an injured frenchie, a hungry boston and we are ready to roll! We have enough food for the whole neighborhood and only my husband to feed....should be interesting.

Ernie: I am not drinking out of your glass of wine, Jenny.

Pie a la Apple

    •    5-6 Granny Smith apples that can stand on their own
    •    1 teaspoon of cinnamon
    •    1/4 cup sugar
    •    1 tablespoon brown sugar
    •    Pie Crust (homemade or pre-made)

J: I have a sharp knife... what else do you need.
E: Do you have a small knife, like a pairing knife?
J: I have no idea what a pairing knife is...
E: move...
J: 1/2 bottle complete, still nothing made....

1. Cut the tops off the apples.

2. Using a melon baller, scoop out the apple innards. Be careful not to scoop to close to the apple skin.

That's what she said! 

3. Take the other apples not scooped out, peel them then slice thinly. In a bowl, add cinnamon…

J: bottle 2. This blogging this isn't going well... 

…then sugar, and mix well. The sugars will cause the apples to release some of its juices.

4. Line some of the pie crust along the inside of the apple, then stuff the apple cavities with the mixture. Pour juices evenly among the apples.

5. Cut pie crust into strips and cover the apples with a lattice pattern.​

6. Place the apples in a baking dish. Brush the tops with an egg wash. Add enough water to cover the bottom of the dish. Cover with foil then bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Remove the foil, then bake an additional 20 minutes until tops are golden brown.

7. Do a little dance.​

J: Apples are done bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roasted tomatoes

• 1 pint grape or cherry tomatoes
• 4-6 cloves garlic
• 2 T olive oil
• salt and pepper
• 1 t thyme
• 1/2 t minced parsley
  
• 1 t basil, minced if fresh

Cut the tomatoes in half. Chop up the herbs, then mix all the other stuff in a bowl and put in a roasting pan. Turn tomatoes cut side up, then bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. We added grated Parmesan towards the end of cooking time because we could.​

E: we made tomaotes and shit. and we drank. and we cut tomoates and in half. and we drank.
E: We're getting louder. Jenny is doing the robot.

Steak with Parmesan Butter, Balsamic Glaze, and Arugula

• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese plus Parmesan cheese shavings
• 1 1/2 tablespoons butter, room temperature
• 1 12-ounce rib-eye steak
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup finely chopped shallots
• 1/2 teaspoon (packed) dark brown sugar
• 4 cups (lightly packed) arugula
• 2 large lemon wedges

J: Started the entree
J: Ernie is the sloppiest cook, I need to vacuum and he poured salt on my dog!
E: Jenny--where are your thongs.

1. Add Parmesan, salt and pepper to a stick of room temperature butter.​ Mix well.

2. Salt and pepper room temperature steaks, then cook to desired doneness.​

3. Chop up shallots.

J: uggh... they're making my eyes water.
E: do you know the principals of steak cooking?
J: no.
E: neither do it...
J: oh my god... cherry tomoates everywhere, ernie...
E: i'm drunk.

4. Once the steaks are cooked, transfer to a plate to let them rest. Add shallots, balsamic and other stuff to the steak pan and reduce the liquid.​

At this point, the blogging deteriorated, as we concentrated on getting the meal done because we had to make our movie time later that evening… and we were drunk. 

5. ​In a bowl, add the arugula, lemon juice and Parmesan and mix.

6. Plate the arugula. On top of it, add the sliced steak, then butter, then drizzle the balsamic reduction.

We forgot to buy ice cream, but we had whipped cream.​

Things I learned: 

1. Cooking and drinking is fun. 
2. Cooking with friends is more fun. 
3. Drinking, cooking and blogging with friends is hard. 
4. You might be better off watching My Drunk Kitchen than reading this.  It's surely more entertaining…
   
5. I'm proud of Jenny for getting out of her comfort zone and creating a great meal! 

Links to the original recipes:

• Steak with Parmesan Butter Balsamic Glaze and Arugula
• Roasted Tomatoes
• Pie a la Apple